TRIBUNE-REVIEW
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Pittsburgh Pirates manager John Russell watches a spring training baseball game against the Minnesota Twins in Bradenton, Fla., Tuesday, March 25, 2008.
(AP Photo/Gene J. Puskar)
Three springs ago, when the Pirates' losing streak was only 12 years long, I asked baseball broadcaster Jon Miller if he could please attempt to articulate the national perception of Pittsburgh's professional baseball club.
"The national view of the Pirates, as a whole," Miller said, "is that people have no idea about them."
This was during a conference call with ESPN's on-air talent. In a related matter, the Pirates are not scheduled to be on that network's Sunday night game of the week this season and have not appeared on one since May 19, 2002, when Aramis Ramirez knocked in two runs to help Kip Wells beat Dave Mlicki at Enron Field.
You remember it like yesterday.
"The Pirates are anonymous nationwide," Miller added. "That's the real problem. Most people don't realize Kevin McClatchy is the owner."
True enough -- and most people probably don't realize McClatchy is no longer running the team. But hear this loud and clear: The Pirates' safe and secluded and terribly sad run of anonymity is about to end.
One way or another, John Russell's boys are going to become a story over the next six months.
To quasi-quote Don Henley, this is The End of the Irrelevance.
Either the Pirates win, in which case the baseball world takes note, or they continue to lose, in which case they become a story of historical significance.
Another losing season makes 16 in a row, which would put the Pirates in select and somewhat tragic company. The only other franchise in the history of professional sports -- yeah, the history of professional sports -- to string together that many losing seasons was the Philadelphia Phillies from 1933-48.
The Pirates already have surpassed the NFL's lengthiest loser, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who had a 14-year reign of error from 1983-96.
The Pirates have tied the longest streaks in NHL and NBA history, both 15 years (NHL's Vancouver Canucks from 1976-91; NBA's Kansas City/Sacramento Kings from 1983-98).
If you think it was a big story last season when the Phillies became the first pro sports franchise to lose 10,000 games, well, you just wait.
It was a big story, by the way. ESPN was all over it, and the first entry on a Google search of that milestone loss turns up something from the International Herald Tribune, for goodness sakes. Soon after, something from a blog called "Failure Magazine."
People love a prodigious loser.
But guess what? I think the streak's going to end.
In a way, that makes sense. Just as the Pirates are poised to garner worldwide attention for their ineptitude, they ruin everything and win.
The law of averages says something has to go right one of these years.
The castaways finally escaped Gilligan's Island, didn't they?
(They did, albeit in a horrifying made-for-TV movie in 1978, the same year the Pirates and Phillies waged a memorable battle for the NL East).
Wile E. Coyote finally caught the Road Runner, didn't he?
(He did, albeit in a Bugs Bunny television special).
I'll cancel this prediction the minute a starting pitcher goes down or a firesale breaks out. Meantime, I hereby proclaim the 2008 Pirates will finish 82-80.
That doesn't necessarily mean the program will have turned the corner, though I like almost everything new general manager Neal Huntington and president Frank Coonelly have done. It simply means the Pirates will take third place in the pathetic NL Central with 82 wins.
Put another way, it means they'll achieve high-end mediocrity for at least one season.
I believe Adam LaRoche and Jason Bay will start fast and post big numbers.
I like Nate McLouth as an everyday center fielder (God, am I sorry I just put that in print).
Mostly, I believe the young starting pitching will carry the team. Tom Gorzelanny, Paul Maholm and Ian Snell will continue to improve, and new pitching coach Jeff Andrews will oversee the rebirth of Zach Duke.
This game still comes down to pitching, and as hideous as they were last season, the Pirates were 58-42 when their starter lasted six innings (10-52 when he didn't).
So go ahead and laugh. I'm sticking with 82-80.
Failure Magazine can find another cover story.
Joe Starkey is a sports writer for the Tribune-Review. He can be reached at jstarkey@tribweb.com.
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