It's (not) time for Pirates

By Joe Starkey, PITTSBURGH TRIBUNE-REVIEW
http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/sports/
Sunday, April 4, 2010

You've probably seen the Pirates' promotional ads on FSN Pittsburgh, the ones that feature players such as Andrew McCutchen and Ryan Doumit lifting weights and uttering the phrase: "It's Time."

To which one might naturally respond: "For what?"

This kind of open-ended catch phrase fits neatly into the grand tradition of "We Will," maybe the most preposterous sports-franchise slogan ever foisted upon a fan base, a saying so silly that any self-respecting team executive would have raced into the marketing department and killed it on the spot.

The Pirates used it two years in a row!

Ludicrous as it was, "We Will" served a purpose during the 2006 and '07 seasons. It was flexible. Nobody could point to it and say the franchise had made even a vague promise to be competitive, let alone win.

Meanwhile, we had all kinds of time to fill in the blank. You remember the drill:

» We Will ... be out of contention by Memorial Day.

» We Will ... pay Ronny Paulino to play baseball.

» We Will ... draft a relief pitcher instead of Matt Wieters.

It has become a rite of spring to complete the Pirates' mottos. Before "We Will" there was "Come Hungry," a slogan cleverly filled out this way by one local wag: "Come Hungry, Leave Bulimic."

Earlier this decade, we had "Come See Us Play (no thanks)," and, in honor of the opening of PNC Park in 2001, "Built for Baseball (and cost overruns)."

Now, we have a promotional ad that tells us: "It's Time."

To which one might naturally respond: "For What?"

I recently posed that question to Pirates fans, looking for the best answer.

It felt like a cyberspace game of "Family Feud," or, to put a Pirates' twist on it: "We Are Family Feud." As you'll see from the following submissions, the response was tremendous, though a bit harsh:

It's Time ...

» to sell to Mario (No. 1 answer).

» to try.

» for an 18th consecutive losing season.

» to spend more money.

» to spend your money.

» to become a minor-league team so we can compete.

» for Steelers OTAs.

» to trade our best players.

» to let the mascot run the team.

» to cash another revenue-sharing check.

My personal favorite came from an anonymous fan who wrote: "It's Time for the Pirates ... oh, what the heck, it's time for another beer."

During a radio interview, I invited Pirates manager John Russell to finish the phrase. After meandering a bit, he actually said: "It's time to win."

Much as I commend Russell for that statement — you rarely hear such proclamations out of Pirates' headquarters — I find it hard to believe.

Let me clarify. It is time to win. It's well past time to win. But if Russell meant his team was going to win this year, that's a stretch almost beyond comprehension.

Two years ago, I made the mistake of projecting the Pirates to win 82 games. I might never live it down, so I'm playing it extra safe this year.

I predict they'll go 16-146.

No, the usual 62-75 wins seems realistic. But I will say this: Having McCutchen and Pedro Alvarez in the same lineup could seriously increase the entertainment value of a ticket.

I still believe owner Bob Nutting, team president Frank Coonelly and general manager Neal Huntington did the right thing by tearing down the house and flooding the system with prospects.

The plan is sound. We'll see about the execution. No fair judgment can be rendered yet, not with all these unripe players running around.

We'll see if Huntington and his people are better talent evaluators than their predecessors.

We'll see if the Pirates fulfill their promise and spend some real money someday soon.

In the meantime, it's hard to imagine a lineup with so many unproven players, so many question marks, producing anything close to a winning record.

Will that day ever come?

Maybe, but not yet.

It's not time.