By Gene Collier, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
http://www.post-gazette.com/sports/
Today's lesson in cultural climatology has to do with snow and baseball.
There exists in this rather new science -- yes, I just made it up -- one inviolate rule of proportion, and here it is:
The severity of the winter in the Northeast always lies in inverse proportion to the allure and romance of spring training. The worse the February from Boston to Chicago and points between, the more florid and hopeful the prose and reporting from Florida and Arizona on a little thing called hope.
In the same spatial relationship, the more snow in Cleveland, the more the affable Cuyahogans pine for pine tar imagery and visages of verdant 90-foot diamonds in the Southern sun.
Peter Diana/Post-Gazette
Pirates pitcher Virgil Vasquez joins teammates for an optional workout at Pirate City in Bradenton, Fla., Wednesday == the reporting date for pitchers and catchers. The Pirates' 2010 spring training camp begins in earnest today with the first workout scheduled for noon.
"It's fun to see those guys out there on the grass," former Pirates first baseman and MLB Network commentator Sean Casey quipped Wednesday.
Maybe.
I think it's just fun to see the grass.
Really, at this point, I'd kill to see my own grass.
So it would figure that in Pittsburgh -- or Buffalo on the Mon as we've come to know it -- the hunger for baseball's ephemeral, eternal spring might never have been greater than it ought to be in this dark, dangerous, roof-collapsing, shovel-snapping, ice-chopping, salt-spewing, tire-spinning, forest-of-stalactite-icicles winter.
It would figure.
Elsewhere, such hunger is readily assumed.
"At every camp," John Schlegel wrote on MLB.com, "the emerald fields will be pristine, the ballplayers jogging early in the morning, running through drills -- all on a blanket of not frozen tundra or piles of snow but beautiful, green grass, sending off the unmistakable scents of spring. It's a scent so strong and so poignant that it can be smelled in places like Pittsburgh and Baltimore, right through this crushing winter's wind."
See?
Well, this much of all that is true: I smell somethin'.
Hope it's not the general offensive aptitude of the Pirates' likely opening day lineup, because that would be a likely suspect. McCutchen, Iwamura, Jones, Doumit, LaRoche, Milledge, Clement and Cedeno?
What's that, Murmurer's Row?
After a decent rookie year featuring a refreshing proclivity to generate excitement, Andrew McCutchen is the franchise, as 2010 begins. Akinori Iwamura is a major league infielder who has been to the World Series as a Tampa Bay second baseman, Garrett Jones is a curiosity who hit 21 homers in only 82 games after taking 83 years to reach the big leagues, Ryan Doumit is a brittle power hitter whose will to be the catcher transcends his skill for the position, Andy LaRoche has proven nothing offensively on the big league level, Lastings Milledge might and might not be a major leaguer, Jeff Clement is a first baseman in theory and an offensive factor mostly by speculation, and Ronny Cedeno is a feckless shortstop who forced the Pirates to sign Bobby Crosby just to keep him interested.
Yeah, that smells good.
Clement is an especially poignant example of management's commitment to putting a competent product on the field. Essentially handed the first base job for 2010 after arriving with Cedeno from Seattle for Jack Wilson and Ian Snell. Clement hit seven homers at Class AAA Indianapolis in fewer than 100 at-bats, which, despite hitting. 224, is how he got the job.
These jobs are a little easier to come by when the employer is only too happy to ignore someone like Jim Thome, whose 23 homers last year were more than any Pirate, whose 564 career homers might bring some people down the North Side to see a future Hall of Famer, and who signed with the Twins for $1.5 million. Other left-handed hitting first basemen like Russell Branyon and Hank Blalock, both of whom hit more homers than Thome last year, are also on the market. But both have been known to make decent money ($4 million-6 million). Don't tell me Thome is 39 and can't play first base.
Wait 'til you see Clement play it.
The other smell coming from spring training is a little fresher, even as it has been framed by the reappearance of steroid huckster Mark McGwire in a Cardinals uniform. Now Tony LaRussa's batting coach, Mc-Gwire reported to spring training this week with no inclination to elaborate on his checked-swing apology of Jan. 12.
But the fresh air is in the relatable numbers.
Thanks in some part to baseball's still not wholly adequate drug testing triggered by the embarrassing home run totals of McGwire, Barry Bonds and Sammy Sosa, you no longer have to hit 65 or 70 to lead the league in homers. In fact, last year in the American League, you didn't have to hit 40. Carlos Pena and Mark Teixeira tied for the league lead with 39. Albert Pujols' 47 led the National League.
That smells better.
Gene Collier: gcollier@post-gazette.com. More articles by this author
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